Good sex is hard to keep a secret. Especially when it’s open, silly, rough, and oh. my. god. does it feel good. I want it all the time, I want to talk about it all the time, I want to shout from the rooftops: “HAVE YOU GUYS TRIED THIS?”, but that would obviously be nuts, so I just shout at my friends about it instead.

Select friends.There are so many levels of comfort when sharing sexy news, and not all friends fit sharing requirements. There are a few you know are uncomfortable hearing what you want to talk about, and others make you uncomfortable because of the details they ask for, sometimes everyone likes to get drunk first, and sometimes everyone is just feeling sexy and wants to talk about sex, who cares?

Certain man-slices care. Certain boys cannot wrap their heads around why I don’t want to keep these things private. Some of their (mostly valid) complaints are as follows:

1. It is embarrassing to think that our mutual friends know these things about him, no matter how estimable it makes him in their eyes. From here on out, he has to interact with these people knowing that they know that he knows that they know etc.
2. He thinks it is sexier to keep it a secret; no one but you two know about the things you do to each other.
3. Straight up? It’s nobody’s business.

My responses:

1. Bluntly put, this is not about you. When I talk about about our sex with my friends there is little or no element of gossip, I am talking about my sexuality when I talk about what we did, and why it was amazing. Sometimes I need advice from them that I can’t ask you for. It can be cathartic as well.
2. Keeping it a secret is hot, but is there a possibility that on some level you’re hiding me from people?
3. No, of course not. But it’s not like I’m sharing your nose picking schedule. This is objectively awesome.

As of now I try respect whatever the man-slice’s wishes are. I talk about things only in generalities, and only with one or two very close friends, but it can be very hard when we’ve had a bottle of rose and we’re on the beach and Fleetwood Mac is playing. I will continue to try to do my best, just as soon as this is posted on the internet.

By Unbound contributor Sara J.

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