It’s a curious thing, the amount of sexually active people who feel free to penetrate/suck/tickle, but clam up at the mention of mutual masturbation. It’s almost as if an avalanche of anti-masturbation propaganda from earlier generations still marches the perimeter of our unconscious, causing a blush at the mere suggestion of a little friendly solo-finger play. We’ve heard stories of awkward pauses, hurt feelings, and flat-out rejections as a result of someone between the sheets poking their head out and saying “hey, what if I did this, and you did that, but at the same time?” Are we scared we might go blind? Be struck by lightning? Find out that our partner knows their own body better than we do? Whatever fear or self-consciousness one experiences should be examined and exorcised, because the joys of mutual masturbation extend beyond the individual and enrich the couple as a whole. 

Here are the top reasons why mutual masturbation kicks ass:

1. Intimacy: For some people, cumming ain’t no thang. It’s just a natural end result to physical pleasure, regardless of another person’s presence. BUT for other people, achieving an orgasm with a partner has the potential to be intimidatingly mental. The mere act of lowering your guard and allowing yourself to cum can be nerve-racking and scary. Achieving this vulnerability, though, will strengthen the foundation of intimacy which is vital to a long-term relationship. Think about it: letting yourself be that exposed (literally and figuratively) with your partner will inevitably result in a deeper level of trust and closeness. That’s some heavy shit. Now add to that pressure, the confused fumbling of attempting to get the other person off and you have a good chance of awkwardly not achieving your goal. This is where mutual masturbation comes in and saves the day! You’re able to experience that vulnerability, that intimacy, with your partner, while not getting their ego involved. This is a great beginning-of-a-relationship bonding experience and a chance for you to let some walls down and open up in more ways than one.

2. Education: Hey, are you paying attention? The bedroom is a classroom. Watch what they’re doing, you might learn something about what makes them feel good and how they hit their own proverbial spot. 

3. Orgasms: You both get to have one! Yay! Everyone’s eating cake! 

4. Time: The clock rules our lives, and sometimes there’s not enough time for two people to both get off. Here’s where mutual masturbation can kill two birds with one stone. It’s a quickie with a happy ending for all. 

So there you have it, the joys of the under-used mutual masturbation play date. What are your thoughts about masturbating with your partner?


Ashley Brooke Roberts is a comedian based out of New York City. You can find out more about her at Also, follow her on twitter @AshleyBRoberts. She'd be really into that.


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