Horoscopes July 2017

Well, well, well, kittens. Welcome to a crazy, aggressive, but very sexy month! Mars and Pluto are everywhere this month, so beware of drama and confrontation, but get excited for the hot, sticky sex you’ll be having with yourself and others. Remember that consent is crucial, signs! Look out for the Full Moon on July 9th and the New Moon on July 23rd!

Xoxox, Carson


You’re in store for a playful month, Aries! You’ll be feeling closer to your childhood self, which might mean you plan yourself a month of carefree fun. Try making a list of places you want to do the dirty or diving inward to find your new favorite solo toy. You should curb your urges to throw temper tantrums this month, Aries. Although your ruling planet is in the planet Mars, and a ton is happening with Mars this month, we expect you to focus your energy on new friends and crushes rather than bad energy.

Because these very serious energies are in the stars for you this month, I recommend the Love Is Art Kit for some seriously sexy finger painting to bring you back to your inner child!


You’re going to be loosey-goosey this month, Taurus, and I know that’s hard for you. Push through this month of creative and energetic tension, and anticipate some changes on or around July 31st when your ruling planet, Venus, enters Cancer! Words, movements, and orgasms will come easier with patience throughout the month, so expect a big, giant climax by the end of July. I highly recommend the Minna Limon to get things heated up!


You might be feeling a little out of your comfort zone recently, Gemini. If that’s the case, then getting back to your normal summer routine might be the only thing you’re striving for. Instead of doing that, find a great outlet for frustration, like mind blowing sex. Work on finding your best orgasm, getting over your shitty ex, and shedding static energy. Start having transformative conversations when the new moon in Leo arrives on July 23rd. The stars stress that you set clear, communicative boundaries towards the end of the month, Gemini. It’s time to work out those emotional muscles, which will likely lead to more intimate, saucy, and steamy sex. "To hone your emotions and keep things 100%, I highly recommend the Je Joue Mio cock ring.


Saddle up, Cancer! This Cancer season is going to be a challenging emotional roller coaster that you might not have expected from yourself! Try to set new goals and give yourself pep talks. Since you are ruled by the moon, watch out for this month’s full moon in Capricorn on July 9th. It’ll probably get you feeling a little stir crazy and NOT into “maybe” or “I’m not sure” answers to serious questions. Be ready to use your energy on the HERE, NOW, YES, and NO! Because the moon is in Capricorn, you might be feeling a little colder this month. Remember that you are allowed to be the opposite of warm and fuzzy sometimes, Crabby! It’s time for righteous, independent sex that gets the juices flowin’. I recommend trying the Fin by Dame vibrator. Perfect for some solo R&R and an amazing little friend to be brought into your bedroom with partners!


Cancer season is always a little rough for you, Leo. To be fair, any season but Leo season seems to be your least favorite. This month you’ll be reading others while finding out secrets and addressing your own in the background. Sound weird that you’re not going to be in the spotlight? That’s the point! Take this time to rest up. When Mars enters Leo on July 20th, it’ll be time to get out of your funk and prepare for Leo season. Once it begins on July 22nd, consider your routine and goals. Is there anything or anyone slowing you down? Access that, and cut loose ends if need be. By July 31st, a steamy hookup or lover will enter your life. Be prepared for the pleasure by doing some serious training. I highly recommend the Elvie Kegel Trainer to combine your love of competition with your love of feeling hot!


You know how your horoscopes usually tell you to meditate on your emotions, Virgo? Not this month! You are a social butterfly and the sun being in Cancer has only good things in store for your reputation and your career. Like always, sell your amazing talents, goals, practical aspirations, and killer dance moves, and never sell them short. Look out for Mercury entering your sign on July 25th. You’ll be feeling day-dreamy, and a little bit less practical than usual. Once you experience this, you'll be able to express your emotions extremely articulately. Everyone loves this about you, Virgo. Because you’ll be on your social high this month, I recommend some good vibes on the go. The Vesper vibrator necklace is the perfect, feel good fashion statement.


Quit bein’ so recluse, Libra! It’s time to give yourself daily pep talks about what an amazing and vivacious presence you are this month. On July 10th, you’ll have to challenge yourself to NOT be a control freak and go with the flow. Although this is difficult for you, you'll be surprised by how good you feel doing it. Expect to put off this energy to be an amazing way to draw new friends and lovers towards yourself. Remember to take moments of self-care by reading, stretching, writing, and even clickin’ your mouse twice. By July 20th, things will be heating up in your love life, so be prepared by picking out some cute jewelry for yourself. I highly, highly recommend the Cleo Whip Choker


This is your month, Scorpio. There are plenty of high energy, aggressive conversations and interactions surrounding you, which only means amazing things for your sex life (which includes, but is not limited to, sex with yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners, or just fantasizing 95 percent of the day). Think about ways to spark that sexual fire under your ass. I recommend some nice erotica and an arousal gel-like Intimate Earth’s Intense Clitoral Arousal Gel.


Cancer season is starting off a little rough for you, Sag. Fights are breaking out, your relationships might feel pressure, and something big might be ending soon. Seek out a good friend this month to vent about these negative energies around you. You do not have to be alone! Once July 9th rolls around, you’ll need to start a self-love plan for yourself. Remember to hold yourself to a high standard, but don’t beat yourself up if you make mistakes along the way. By July 18th, you’ll be rollin’ in attention, just how you like it! I highly recommend some pheromones to draw in new lovers and friends. Try Unbound's Pheromone Box to find the right one for you!


You’re reaching for the perfect lover this month, Capricorn, and for some reason, you just can’t be satisfied. Most likely, this is because there is no better lover for you than yourself, but we get needing some human affection. Once Mercury enters Leo on July 5th, walk on the Lion Side. We all know how hard you work, Capricorn, but allow yourself to vocalize your needs and be a little bossy! On July 20th, Mars enters Leo, which will cause you to have some serious heart to hearts with yourself. What does your heart really want? What kind of partner do you seek? While considering this, it might be best for you to fantasize and have some solo sex. I recommend the Rockit Touch Mini Wand to heat things up!


This is the month to stop burning yourself out, Aquarius. I feel like an overprotective mother when I say this, but you are enough! Tensions are rising at the beginning of the month due to Mars being in Cancer and Pluto being in Capricorn. You need to use your best skill, which is to meditate, problem-solve, and show support. Don’t get caught up in all the drama, but think back to when hands have been offered to you in times of need. By July 9th, plan to focus inward and make lists. You’ll need to create a self-care list, a responsibilities list, and a goals list. This may sound like a total bummer in July, but trust me, it’ll be worth it by September! Spend this alone time in nature. On July 23rd, you’ll be ready to re-spark your relationship, connect with old friends, and socialize! Remember that self-care is still important. I highly recommend the Womanizer Lipstick Vibe for those on-the-go self-care opportunities!


This month is all about the build up for you, my Fishy Friend. So rev up your passion by being playful and inviting a little tease into your love life. By July 14th, Mercury will make a connection with Jupiter, your planetary ruler. Remember that within your house of Jupiter, there is always the temptation to be secretive or secluded. Push out of that and embrace the productive mood you’ll be in! It’s important that while doing this, you remember how emotional and sensitive you can be. Are your boundaries clearly laid out? Have you communicated enough? Have fun in this phase of ultimate emotion and productivity. I’d even say flirt with the predicament it brings you. Take time to rub one out a few times a week, Pisces. It’ll only make you glow more. I recommend the Crave Solo for intense rub-a-dubs.

About the Author: Carson Jordan is a loose lipped Leo and self-proclaimed “contrarian” from Ithaca, NY. She can be found asking people what their astrological signs are before she asks what degrees they have, binging early 2000s VH1 Reality TV shows, and writing bad iPhone poetry on the train. Her favorite Unbound product is the Minna Limon!


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