It’s Aries season: People are in the mood to fuck, fast and hard! But that doesn’t mean we’ll all have forgotten our good manners; the full moon in Libra on March 31 will remind us that a little bit of romance goes a long way. Seductive Venus enters sensual Taurus on March 31. Mercury goes retrograde in Aries March 22 through April 15, so expect to run into people from your past (yes, that can mean an ex). The new moon in Aries on April 15 finds us reconnecting with ourselves, reflecting on independence — so spend the night in masturbating and get yourself off to celebrate.
Confrontations will arise on the full moon in Libra on March 31. However, Libra is the sign of balance, so while issues you’ve been putting off dealing with in your relationship may come to a head, with the full moon also comes compromise. Confrontation doesn’t have to be bad. Discussing the tough stuff often gives partnerships the opportunity to grow and prove you’re in it for the long run. Use the energy of the full moon to think about things from your partner’s perspective, become better at making time for one another, or to try that fantasy they’ve sheepishly brought up but haven’t experimented with yet. Keep in mind that Mercury is retrograde, which can throw a wrench in communication, so take your time, and think before you speak. That same day, at the end of the month, Venus enters Taurus, which will put you in a flirty and fabulous mood. Show off your shine by dusting some Bling Bling Body Powder all over your body before date night. The new moon in your sign on April 15 is a perfect opportunity to get in touch with your powerful nature. So regardless of if you’re single or in a relationship, plan a solo night in and treat yourself to your favorite delivery food and sex toy.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 finds you releasing a bad habit. You can be stubborn, and we know this isn’t easy for you. So why not add some pleasure to your life to take its place? Our massage ring is glam jewelry that doubles as a massager and feels fantastic on any erogenous zone (or even just a tense back), so go ahead and treat yourself to celebrate getting rid of what no longer serves you. Venus is in your sign making you flirty as fuck, so when your partner or a sexy single at the bar compliments you on the ring, don’t hold back on sharing what you can do with it. Despite the fun you’ll be having, Mercury is retrograde in Aries, leaving you a bit forgetful. Avoid miscommunications or missed dates by making an effort to schedule them, whether it’s with your long-term partner or someone new. Open Google Calendar and everything! The new moon in Fire sign Aries on April 15 is the perfect time to do something kinky or share a dirty secret, so on the date (that you’re not late for, thanks to your planning ahead) don’t worry about holding back. Forget insecurities; the stars are in your favor, so share your fantasies and get ready to have them fulfilled.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 finds you eager to finally tell a crush how you feel, and if you’re attached, you’ll also find an exciting climax taking place in your love life. Are you ready to talk about monogamy, moving in together, or something new you want to try in bed? Now is the time to enjoy a climax in your love life in more ways than one. Venus in Taurus finds you eager for a sneaky romp or to share secrets. If you’re going to be leaving a party for fiery bathroom sex or confessing your BDSM fantasy, come prepared (and look fabulous) by wearing the Magnifique Whip Necklace, which is a kinky secret within itself. Mercury retrograde in Aries finds you running into old friends and fuck buddies. Should you bang them? If you’re single, why not have some fun? If you’re in a committed relationship, take a moment to think about how giving into temptation will affect your partnership. And speaking of partnership, who said sex is only for two people? The new moon in Aries April 15 could find you connecting with a new social circle. Do you have a group sex fantasy? Now the time’s to go ahead and act on it. If group sex isn’t your thing, remind yourself how crucial supportive friendships are to overall health, and thus your love life, and go out for beers or a coffee with new buddies. And yes, you can all gossip about your love lives.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 finds you eager to stay close to home and to beautify your space. Who says home décor can’t be hot? Buy a sex pillow, some candles, and then celebrate your shared space with a game of Intimate Hide and Seek. Venus in Taurus finds you in the mood to socialize, so host a dinner party to show off your new home improvements. The Mercury retrograde in Aries finds you rethinking your direction in life. Are there any changes you’ve wanted to make in your career? Sex is a great energy boost, and supportive partnerships lift us up in all areas of our life. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner, or if you’re single, your trusted friends, about what’s on your mind professionally. A fresh start around these themes arrives with the new moon in Aries on April 15. Big changes can be hard, even if they’re new beginnings we desire, so use this time period to ensure your relationships are all on solid foundations.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 lights up the communication sector of your chart, so send some sexts. Libra is pretty extra (almost as extra as you, Leo), so spice up your nude game with a pair of bedazzled pasties. You don’t need an excuse to send a hot nude when you’re a Leo with a pair of lightning bolts over your nipples. Venus in Taurus reminds you that you’re deserving of the spotlight, so after the desire of your affections come running over, feel free to lay back and enjoy some oral sex, you pillow queen. Mercury retrograde in Aries finds you in a philosophical mood. Here’s food for thought from Jennifer Lopez, who is obviously a Leo: “If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” Are you being true to yourself, or acting as real as J-Lo? The new moon in Aries on April 15 is a great time to study up on new relationship formats or break out of your routine with sex. So, if your heart has been telling you that you need to open up your relationship, or get kinky, now is the time to use your Lion courage, do your research, and implement a plan of action to be your truest self.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 asks you to release issues around feeling worthy— and you are, dear Virgo. Jot down a list of everything you’re proud of: it’s a healthy exercise that’s good for self-confidence (plus we know you love lists), and self-confidence is sexy. Venus in Taurus encourages you to think big about what enjoying your senses can really mean. In your busy, day to day life, you may rush around and forget just how sensual you are. Slow things down and open up the senses with Warming Vanilla Massage Oil. Like you, Virgo, people may think vanilla can be uptight, but it’s actually kinky AF. Express your desires during Mercury retrograde in Aries. Retrogrades tend to freak people out, but you’re on top of your shit enough to read between the lines. If you’re poly, which Virgos can be fabulous at thanks to those organizational skills, this is a great time to regroup with your partners about your fantasies. Perhaps you are over the old ones and have some new things on your mind, or maybe you miss an old scene you used to play out. Regardless of your relationship status or format, use the retrograde to check in with yourself (make another list!) to ensure you’re satisfied with your love and sex life. PS: Break out the leather harness during the new moon in Aries on April 15 (perhaps at that party you’ve been missing?) as it’s an ideal time to get kinky.
The full moon in your sign, Libra, on March 31, finds you reconnecting with yourself around sex — you tend to give and give and give, but this is the time to focus on you. What would the ultimate Libra, Kim Kardashian, do? Step back and ask for what you want. Don’t be scared. Remember, our partners like to serve us, especially someone as chic as you. Venus in Taurus finds you in a passionate mood, which is a great time to get grounded during a sensual massage with a loved one. Taurus is a physical earth sign, and we know if you’re getting a massage from a partner, you want to get physical beyond a shoulder rub. Try ON Silicone Personal Moisturizer. It’s a latex-friendly lube that also works as a massage oil, so you can have your back rub and then enjoy some penetration, too. Remember: This full moon asks you to relax and receive. FYI: Mercury retrograde finds you running into past partners. Ruh-roh. You can be a bit of a flirt, and enjoy an affair every now and then. If your ex looks like shit, enjoy how far you’ve come. But if it’s someone hot from your past, you may find yourself in a conundrum and dealing with temptation. But you’re also the sign of relationships and don’t want to let people go. The new moon in Aries on April 15 brings fresh starts to partnerships. Keep this in mind if you’re toying with cheating. If you know in your gut that doing so might break what you have, using this confident, fresh new moon in Aries energy with your current partner could be just the boost your relationship needs.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 is going to keep you up at night, which you’re likely used to, emotional Scorpion. But did you know that the chemicals released by an orgasm basically act as God’s Ambien? Buzz one out with the Bean vibrator. It’s small enough to tuck behind your pillow and affordable, so your stress levels won’t be affected by breaking the bank, but will calm you down thanks to an orgasmic oxytocin release that allows you to chill out and sleep. Venus in Taurus finds your partners in an easy-going mood, so don’t worry about overwhelming them with your intense energy. Just relax, rub one out, and trust that they aren’t going anywhere should that Scorpio paranoia set in. Mercury retrograde in Aries finds you doing plenty of chores — as you restock your bathroom, don’t forget lube, wipes, and condoms. The new moon in Aries on April 15 is a great time to consider your sexual health, so remember to practice safe sex (that’s what the condoms are for!) and further alleviate any anxieties keeping you up at night by scheduling regular STI screenings and/or gyno exams if you’re due. Don’t stress about it, just be a responsible adult and again, masturbate if you’re feeling anxious.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 finds you in a social mood, eager to party. If you’ve felt that your life has been all work and no play, now’s the time to play as hard as you work. Fortunately, strong Sagittarius has the stamina for both, so have a little fun. Venus in Taurus is a great time to treat yourself to a spa day or groom yourself and your partner. Splurge on couples massages or rub down one another with sensual Stella Massage Oil. And yes, please do role-play masseuse/client while you’re at it. And speaking of fantasies coming true, the Mercury retrograde in Aries finds you running into old crushes. Mercury retrograde tends to get a bad rap, but if there was someone you always wanted to boink but never got a chance, now’s your moment. Paired up, but still feeling a fantasy for someone else?
The new moon in Aries on April 15 asks you to be brave — if you feel your genitals are going to explode if you don’t do this other person, talk to your partner about a threesome or exploring open relationships. Are you monogamous to the core? You can totally masturbate them on the DL. That’s very healthy and normal, and we promise we won’t tell!
The full moon in Libra on March 31 finds you reflecting on partnership and how the people we connect with support or distract us from our goals. Venus in Taurus finds you in a romantic and creative mood. Try the Cosmos Love is Art kit, which allows you to create beautiful art for your love nest by covering you and your partner’s body in paint and making love on a canvas; basically, you can have sex and make art at the same time. You can get a little serious, Capricorn, but it’s okay to let loose and get messy. The new moon in playful Aries on April 15 says spruce up your home, and what better way to do that than hang up sex painting? Speaking of youthful fun, Mercury retrograde in Aries brings back a childhood crush. Do you have a love that got away? Ditch the sweatpants and wear whatever makes you feel hot while you run errands during this time, as you might run into them at the grocery store or pharmacy.
We know you’re a sex goddess with natural gravity, Aquarius, but part of that charm is tied to your intellectual side. Fortunately, the full moon in Libra on March 31 encourages you to get nerdy about sex. Read up on bondage, polyamory, or love language and geek out on what’s been turning you on. Smarts are hot. Taurus finds you eager to snuggle and cuddle, so invite your partner or fuck buddy over for game night –– X-rated, that is. Try Kinky Truth or Dare. When you’re not getting it on with dirty dares, use Truth cards as an opportunity to open up. The Mercury retrograde in Aries is a great time to reflect on how you communicate with your partners and sometimes talking about things that scare us becoming easier if we have a little fun with it. A fresh conversation begins with the new moon in Aries on April 15, so get ready to take your partnerships to the next level after having that talk you’ve been avoiding.
The full moon in Libra on March 31 brings big fireworks to your sex life –– and yes, we’re talking about powerful orgasms. However, Libra is the sign of relationships, so there’s more on your mind than just hot sex. Intimacy is deeply important to you now, so don’t be afraid to use post-sex pillow talk to be a little vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary, but your connection to emotions are part of what makes you such a powerful water sign. Tap into that Pisces Queen Rihanna energy: know that your feelings are worth sharing, and that’s part of what the person lying next to you in bed loves about you. Venus in Taurus encourages you to talk about your needs, so you’ll be armed with extra strength when you open up. If the person or people you’re sleeping with are acting forgetful and space out on a date or text message, don’t take it personally. It’s not you; it’s Mercury retrograde in Aries. Step into your power and remind them how much they mean to you, rather than chastise them for flaking. Now is the time to be patient, kind, and most importantly, the bigger person. A fresh start around self-esteem arrives with the new moon in Aries on April 15, likely promoted by the improvement you see in your love life after getting intimate, so celebrate yourself by rubbing one out.
The Serpent Sluts are a coven of Brooklyn-based witches made up of Broadly/VICE astrologer Annabel Gat, GQ/Allure sex writer Sophie Saint Thomas, and Bustle/SYFY reporter Casey Halter. Listen to their weekly sex and spirituality podcast, The Serpent Cast. Follow them on Instagram.