Dating apps serve up sex like a Lazy Susan full of crudités. Entertaining? Sure. But after a while you realize you're just going around in circles and the Hidden Valley Ranch has spilled everywhere and you're sure as shit not going to be the one to clean it up.

Where was I? Oh, right. Valentine's Day.

February 14th can feel like this artificial judgement day for all the kinda-sorta-maybe relationships you find yourself in. Scrolling thru your recent texts, you can't help but think...

Are we just hooking up?
Do I even care?
Do they care?
Is the deli still open? I'm hungry and could really go for a fried egg sammich.  

Listen, if Valentine's Day is important to you, and you feel close with this person, then just suggest you do something. Head to a dive bar and play darts. Go see that weird band you both like. Go ice skating before global warming destroys this planet forever. Who cares? If they freak out that you're asking to make plans then they're the weird one, not you. 

Conversely, if you rank Valentine's Day below Flag Day (but above Columbus Day bc WTF why is that even still a thing?), then don't sweat it. Instead, why not use it as an excuse to try out something new and adventurous in the bedroom?

The most important thing is to remember that none of this matters and we're all going to end up as dust particles scattered across a universe more vast than any of us could ever imagine. 

Okay, let me try that again: the most important thing is that February 14th is whatever kind of day you want it to be with whomever is lucky enough to enjoy your company. Whatever you do: don't put Valentine's Day on a pedestal -- you're the only thing that's supposed to be up there!

Much lurve,
Polly