Squirting is a lot like the Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks. You secretly want to try it, but you’re nervous people will judge you. Honestly, you think it might even be a myth and the joke’s on you when you step up to order. 

This weekend I was grabbing drinks with my friend, who began raving about squirting with her new partner. She exclaimed that she drenched the bed and that her partner was completely unperturbed. He is what she matter-of-factly called a “squirting whisperer.”

For a while, I associated squirting with raunchy porn and thought it required bodily supplements to work. Obviously, this is far from true, although it can take work and may not happen every time you try it. 

Squirting is a colloquial term for female ejaculation. Yes, it can shoot out of the urethral opening in a way that’s similar to ejaculation of the penis. Many women may experience this from time-to-time but are unaware it is happening or assume it’s pee. This can lead to embarrassment or concern that it is an issue.

Deborah Sundahl's book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot summarizes the findings of numerous studies on the female prostate. She suggests that society has continued to claim that female ejaculate is urine, which is strongly linked to the sexually repressive idea that the only thing that is supposed to come out of a woman’s vagina is urine.

To dispel this idea once and for all, I’m going to get scientific for a moment: urine is excreted by the kidneys and accumulated in the bladder. Female ejaculate is created in the female prostate. People assume it is pee only due to the fact that both urine and ejaculate come out through the urethra. However, this is the same for women and men! Urine and ejaculate are composed of different fluids, they just come out of the same opening. It is also a common misconception that squirting occurs at the same time as orgasm—it can happen randomly throughout simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation.

Squirting isn’t for everyone. A very kinky friend of mine shared pictures with me of her latest sexcapades, and told me that she had never squirted with her partner no matter how hard they tried. Another friend of mine told me that she had never squirted and does not know anyone who has.

How can I try it? Most of the time, a woman must be stimulated intensely in variable ways, usually involving her G-spot, but her clitoris can add to the party as well. There is no set way to make a woman squirt. Every woman is an individual and has her own unique responses. Some women love to squirt and can squirt on command. Some women do not know when they are going to squirt until they do. Some women can and they choose not to because they do not like how it feels.

Kayla Lords describes how to have a squirting orgasm, which includes relaxation and plenty of foreplay. Regardless of whether a woman squirts or not, at the end of the day, engaging in consensual and pleasurable sexual activity should be the aim.

If you're interested in exploring your squirting potential, we recommend checking out Bender! If you're skeptical, the reviews speak for itself.

By F. Leonora Solomon