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Work out the Kinks: Erotic Massage Basics

Work out the Kinks: Erotic Massage Basics

We know, the term “erotic massage” feels very 80's soft focus porn (more saxophone!) but bear with us! With the right tools and basic techniques, you can channel your inner expert masseuse to make your partner melt beneath your hands in a way that can greatly enhance emotional intimacy or, at a minimum, serve as some really kickass foreplay.



The room should be free of distraction and a comfortable temperature.  If you opt for candles or music, make sure that they enhance but don’t distract or detract from your massage (i.e. think Sade and something v classy like Sandalwood). Put that phone away! 


Oil is integral to a next level massage. It keeps your disrobed subject warm and reduces friction as you work. Again, if you use scented massage oil, opt for something subtle and not overly cloying and make sure to warm it up (either in your hands or in a bowl of hot water) before application. Go for a massage candle if you're looking to really heat things up. Also, if you have nice sheets on your bed you may also want to lay down a towel first. You want to make sure you have the freedom to be pretty liberal with the slick stuff. 

Make sure everything you need is close at hand–nothing breaks the mood more than having to get up to fetch more supplies.




An erotic massage is always better if fewer clothes are involved but being comfortable is the most important part. If that means clothing stays on, cool. Consent is important here so be sure to check in with your partner when talking about boundaries. After you’ve both undressed, have your partner lie face down. A tried-and-true game plan is to thoroughly work their back and shoulders to ease tension and lull them into a state of blissful relaxation before flipping them over and…livening things up.

To begin working on their back and shoulders, sit on their ass so that their pelvis will be pressed into the mattress every time you lean in to really work out those knots. Also, as you lean over their back and shoulders while you work, try grazing their skin with your nipples and breathing on their neck, then easing off a bit and doing it again. Trust us.

Now to some basic techniques to experiment with:

Stripping/Compression: laying one hand flat on a part of your partner’s body and then pressing your other hand on top of it to apply pressure to the muscles.

Fanning: laying both hands flat with your fingers together and slowly moving across a muscle by alternating circular sweeping motions with each hand. To add additional pressure, try folding your fingers in at the knuckles.

Stroking: keeping your fingers together with thumbs parallel making long, gentle movements while alternating levels of pressure.

Kneading: using your palms and wrists to massage muscles deeply in small semi-circles. This is best for fleshier areas like biceps, thighs and dat ass.

    Body Breakdown

    Try to spend 5-10 minutes on each area, feeling out where your partner's muscles seem more or less tense and adjusting pressure/changing up stroke technique as necessary. Make sure as you transition to different parts of the body that each stroke flows seamlessly into the next so as to prevent your subject from tensing up thinking about where the next stroke might fall. Make sure you also invite them to communicate about what feels good and whether the level of pressure you are applying is too strong or not strong enough.

    1. Start with their shoulders. Most people keep a lot of their tension here. Pour some oil onto your palms and rub them together to evenly coat them and warm the oil. Start by spreading it over the upper shoulder area (across the trapezius muscles), then fanning your hands out over their upper back. Position your thumbs about an inch from either side of their spine, and with a moderate amount of pressure knead the muscles of their upper back and shoulders, occasionally fanning out to reach their biceps and progressing down the length of their arms.

    2. Next, spend some time attending to the area behind their ears and around their neck (occasionally moving upward to run your fingers through their hair, maybe even tugging a bit to stimulate the scalp).

    3. Gradually slide your hands down along their spine to then work the shoulder blades. Reapply oil as needed. Progress further to the lower back, always keeping your hands in contact with their skin. With both hands on either side of their spine, rub in strong diagonal strokes from the spine outward. Experiment with longer strokes that move down toward the sides of their waist.

    4. Slide back or off your partner to allow access to their ass. Using the inside of your forearm slowly rub each butt cheek in large circular motions (again, reapplying oil as needed).

    5. Progress to their legs. With plenty of oil, start on each leg at their ankle and knead all the way up with your thumbs and fingers to the inner thigh (using more pressure on firmer areas like the calves and a lighter touch higher up the leg).

    6. Some people have very ticklish feet–if you know your partner does, it might be best to avoid the area so as not to detract from their relaxation. However, if your partner is amenable, use a firm grip and work their soles in a circular motion with your thumbs. Then massage each toe by gently squeezing it between your thumb and index finger, followed by gently pulling on each toe one by one.

    7. When your partner is basically putty in your hands, gently urge them to turn onto their back. Re-up on the massage oil if necessary. Sit astride them again and gently run your hands over their arms and the front of their body, occasionally straying to graze their pubic bone/penis from time to time.   

    8. Finally gently begin to run your hands over their pubic bone/penis, then gently do the same with their vulva/testicles. Switch it up by massaging other parts of their body then returning (either staying localized near the inner thigh or venturing further afield if you want to tease them a bit more and draw things out).

    9. Where you take things next is up to you!

    To get in the mood, check out our list of great erotic massage porn.

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